A special update from the office at 1:39 in the morning. This update will include lies that all of us told today
Payson: We don't have any linens for this wedding that is taking place in an hour
LIES! She would find a ton of linen if she just stopped being a failure and actually did her job. They were just a little hidden.
Me: Sorry Payson, we're out of beer
There was a whole case of it outside. I just didn't want to get up.
Me: *written note* It's 1 o clock, we're awesome. We worked an 18 hour day.
Lies. It was only 12:30. However please note that it is now 1:42 and we're still working
Me: It's 1:42 and we're still working
Lies. I stopped working awhile ago and am now sticking around for moral support.
Payson: Yes, we know what we're doing
Me: Absolutely, I can do that
Nope. We are incapable of doing anything. We are failures.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Day -29
"Yes, the check in location is only about 50 feet from the train station"
-Me to a sports camp mom
Alright, let me defend this one. I am terrible at gaging distance and time. Tell me to be somewhere in 10 minutes and I have no idea how to imagine 10 minutes. I am ridiculously early for everything because I'm so worried about being late because I have no sense of time or distance. No, the check in location is not 50 feet away from the train station, but it's not a mile either. It's more like 400 I guess? I have no idea! But if you tell a sportscamp mom that a location is 400 feet away it sounds far. 400! That's a lot! No, no it's not. It sounds like a lot but it's not. So I lied and said 50, which at the time actually sounded correct until Lucy told me "there's one for your blog". Upon further consideration I see that 50 was a ridiculous guess, but come on, the mom is happy and I doubt she'll know the difference.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Day 37
"No, there have been no instances of swine flu on campus"
-Me to a woman who is hosting a conference later this summer
........Whoops.
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